Today I find myself wondering about people who stay together for the "sake of their children". I remember hearing it several times as a kid. I remember long drawn out conversations about it with kids in a not so serene home life. Is it really better for two people to be unhappy and try to fake it. Are our children really that stupid? Were we? Is the woman who stays with someone who may love her, but is definitely not in love with her, a martyr, or just stupid. Is the man who sees his wife as awesome to hang out with, but not very kissable, really doing anybody any favors? I remember watching my parents fight. A lot. I remember wondering if they would be happier apart. Don't get me wrong, they have never stepped out on each other. It just seemed like sometimes they
really didn't want to be friends. I remember thinking they were
stuck with each other. Stuck with each other because of me. Not my brothers, because they came later. Me.
I was the accident. I was the first thing that forever bonded them. I hated myself for it. I've spent a lifetime wondering
if my parents loved me. I have always wanted to ask them. Each for different reasons. Strange how something parents tried to do "for" their child, resulted in a lifetime of self doubt for that child.
So I have to wonder, is it that the thought of starting over is too hard? Is it that you like this person well enough as a friend that you think you can just ride it out? I always thought, the day my brother turned 18, my parents were done. Oddly, they seem to get along better now that we are all out of the house. Still, I find myself asking why they bother sometimes. It definitely has nothing to do with us.
Consider, if you know you get along as friends now, why wouldn't you want to end on good terms. Sure, everybody gets down. But do you really want to wait until you get into a blow out, and leave hating each other? Just some thoughts. Excuse me if they meander a little.
