I go it alone because I have to.
I go it alone because you left me behind.
I go it alone because I have no other option.
Because maybe one day you'll see my hurt, and turn around.
I go it alone.

Rocks of a Feather

No man is an island, or so they say. But a group of rocks in a sea of shyte is close enough. In the last few days I have struggled to force the clouds out and find something to write about. Today was easier. I am going to write about what I know best; me and my friends, and why they are such.
First off, I only really have either best friends or aquaintances. There Isn't much of a gray area to speak of. Secondly I am not referring to a group of friends in as much the people who have become my family without blood.
In all their vast differences there are some things that are the same throughout. All of them have in some way or another touched my life in a way that is more profound than the other passers by in my life. Encouraging when I am at my lowest. Next to me to celebrate. One enduring characteristic it seems, is that they, (and I'd like to think myself as well), are all what I would classify as emotional and mental rocks for at least someone in their lives. Right now life as I know it may be about to drastically change. And I may be leaned on a little more than I ever have. The thing is, I know my friends will help me through. I've heard many people say that, but this is something I know to be true. I believe I have good friends because they know that I would do anything for them. I know I have good friends because they have been there. They are special and I love them. Call me cheeseball if you will, but its because of them that I'm even attempting to write again.
Thanks for telling me to write the shit, Allison, this one may actually be good.

Tourettes of the Mothering Kind

I can't believe that spewed from my face. Last night Miguel got a little too liberal with his jokes and our son. By almost 8:00 p.m. Phoenix was well out of hand and it was time for bed. We had been joking back and forth to try and ease the tension. I asked him to help Phoenix brush his teeth. He obliges, but his humor went a little too far. He begins with the I'm sorry, it was a joke and starts walking my way when the following gem spews forth from my vocal chords: " Come any closer and I am going to rip your balls off through your mouth". I think the more horrifying part was that I was now laughing hysterically at the look on his face. Then I nearly peed when I noticed he indeed was protecting his bits.
Well, it's a short one, but it is indeed what I was thinking at 9:00 p.m. tonight. It may even be close to grammatically correct. More tomorrow.

So I didn't make it to my deadline last night, but I do have a couple of good reasons. try one on for size and choose the one to your liking. the first is that at nine p.m. I was thinking about cleaning toilets. I didn't find this to be good blog fodder. Secondly, I had one of those "why do I know the sky is about to open up and piss on my face feelings?" I found out why at nearly midnight, right about when I was about to sit down and blog about being only three hours late.
I hate when my phone rings after 11:00 p.m.. and it is not Allison or Cara. Not because I'm crotchety and asleep. to the contrary I'm often wide awake playing xbox. Allison works graveyard and Cara just likes to call when she's coming through town and wants to blow by. Anyone else is calling because there is a problem, and if it's Mike's phone, it's nearly unheard of. So when his phone rang and flashed "mom and dad" I knew this would probably suck. It was the right weather forecast, wrong face. Right in the middle of my blissfully ignorant American Dad coma were words like chemotherapy and radiation. Fuck. They are optimistic. This is not my first rodeo. Doctors do not move that fast without reason. have you ever spent less than four hours in an emergency room? He is going to hurt, and I do not know how to help him.