Fuck.

Well it's happened again. I was all excited, picked out a lap top, and now I will not be getting it. Had the money and everything, then the damn car blew up. This blows. The end.

Joy and Rapture

Yay! It's September and that means in a two weeks I will get a lap top of my very own! Wooty toot! I know what you're thinking, but Lynn you have a computer lab in your living room. I know, but all of them have dedicated jobs for my uber geek. I will able to post with some form of regularity. Well, as much as my a.d.d. brain will allow. So now I just need to decide which one is the one for me. Mike suggested a pink one. And normally he'd be right, I usually buy everything in pink for survival purposes. (What you didn't know boys and zombies hate pink?) This time I didn't want to just pick it because the guys won't try and kype it from me. I still really have know idea what I want though. I have been eyeballing this bamboo asus that looks pretty sweet, but I can never really decide. Crap.

Holy Hovercrafts!

Have you ever got really, super, crazy excited about an idea for a blog, only to forget it the second you sat in front of the computer? Fuck.

Getting the Rust Out

Here we go! It's been a while, so I forced to myself to find something to write about. I found it when I least expected. So here goes, the first thing I've written in ages. Forgive me while I'm getting back in the swing of things.

Reading a friends blog the other day and he poses the question of why people read blogs. I gave it a little pondering. For me although I was surrounded with a group of friends I loved, I'm certain there are some things that were never talked about. Things no one ever said, subject that were never breached.
All the cats I like to hang around with were really only into a handful of things, at least as far as everyone else could see. I should say that there were only a few things that everyone talked about together. Mostly music and partying. Every last one of them had exquisite taste in the music they listed to, but would never branch out past playing metal. That's the crux though, I think our group as a whole never really got past the surface. I'm almost positive that none of them, save for Jacob, ever knew that I was in a band, or my insatiable need to continuously fill my brain with less than mainstream knowledge. I'm way off on a tangent now.
What I mean to say is, in the carbon realm we can find ourselves completely void of cerebral stimulation, even among our closest friends. In the land of the blogger, you can find something that is of interest to you. Sure there is tons of shyte to wade through. And I'm sure that most people think both this and "Displaced Californian" are crap, and I'm okay with that. The point is we are all free to choose which of these things we find compelling, or funny, or interesting, or freeing from our own mundane lives. And as writers, the anonymity that the interweb gives us, allows us to talk about things we would have shied away from bringing to the table at the last barbecue/party/whatever you and your pals do. Maybe you thought they'd find your collection of Starwars costumes a bit excessive. Maybe I"m into sure about reactions to my obsession with astral projection. Who knows? It matters not, because here you are free to read my brain wanderings, or move on to something that better suits you. Happy travels friend.

Here you go Jacob

Here are a couple of a little more recent pictures of Phoenix and me.

Good and Bad

Sometimes I wonder if parents telling their children how great they are is a good thing. My mom always told me that there was nothing that I couldn't do. I always believed that. But here I am at 30 years old with absolutely nothing that indicates I am anything more than mediocre. After my illustrious career of straight A's and pot smoking in high school, I really haven't done much. College was no place for a 16 year old, and after I blew through 60K in scholarships for my first two years, I'd done nothing but become more confused. After a brief stint in corporate America, a few baaad relationships, a move to Washington, and one child later, I still feel completely stagnant. And if I needed any more proof that I am a loss, I can't even think of a decent blog post.

home

Lego Time

FAIL

A long time it has been. A long time it might be, but I'll post regularly again. Getting caught up in life, and other people's lives has taken a toll on me. There's also the fact that I was supposed to get a laptop months ago, and instead I got another lemon for a vehicle. Grrr. Three weeks in California proved somewhat entertaining, but mostly full of heartache. Many realizations were made. The one thing regarding California I can say is this. If I go again it will not be without Mike, and I will ask one of my friends if I can crash at their house for my stay. Well, I guess there are a couple of things. I also would like to make my trip shorter, and with less parental hostage situations. All in all, I think I'll be steering clear for a while. Now I must get to planning on how to get my friends to come visit me here in Washington....

Stagnation

It seems like everything that I want to get out, is stuck in my head. The world is falling apart around me, and Mike's computer addiction is stronger than ever. It sounds so stupid saying that. But I really have no time to get on here and post. I wish I could upload to my blog straight from my brain when I am falling asleep. It is always in this time that my best thoughts come. At any rate, since I am still not sleeping, I think I might start blogging during the wee hours when my brain is teeming with thoughts and Mike is sound asleep...

Ahoy Matey!

Essay I

It's as if I just woke up from a dream. I watch my life as if it is a movie. Everything is so unreal sometimes. I wonder sometimes if anyone else has a constant narration in their head. As I walk along throughout my day, the jukebox in my skull automatically picking the perfect song. I laugh to myself as I carry along conversations with people while I am mentally weaving cartoon life all around them. The song instantly changing to set the mood. The narrator explains the situation concurrently to the nonexistent audience. And I am entertained.
Thus, my latest project. I don't know how to paint. Haven't really tried. But I am going to try and paint "still shots" from these encounters where the boredom makes pretty pictures to me.

ahhhhh

Please stop killing me, it hurts.