Getting the Rust Out

Here we go! It's been a while, so I forced to myself to find something to write about. I found it when I least expected. So here goes, the first thing I've written in ages. Forgive me while I'm getting back in the swing of things.

Reading a friends blog the other day and he poses the question of why people read blogs. I gave it a little pondering. For me although I was surrounded with a group of friends I loved, I'm certain there are some things that were never talked about. Things no one ever said, subject that were never breached.
All the cats I like to hang around with were really only into a handful of things, at least as far as everyone else could see. I should say that there were only a few things that everyone talked about together. Mostly music and partying. Every last one of them had exquisite taste in the music they listed to, but would never branch out past playing metal. That's the crux though, I think our group as a whole never really got past the surface. I'm almost positive that none of them, save for Jacob, ever knew that I was in a band, or my insatiable need to continuously fill my brain with less than mainstream knowledge. I'm way off on a tangent now.
What I mean to say is, in the carbon realm we can find ourselves completely void of cerebral stimulation, even among our closest friends. In the land of the blogger, you can find something that is of interest to you. Sure there is tons of shyte to wade through. And I'm sure that most people think both this and "Displaced Californian" are crap, and I'm okay with that. The point is we are all free to choose which of these things we find compelling, or funny, or interesting, or freeing from our own mundane lives. And as writers, the anonymity that the interweb gives us, allows us to talk about things we would have shied away from bringing to the table at the last barbecue/party/whatever you and your pals do. Maybe you thought they'd find your collection of Starwars costumes a bit excessive. Maybe I"m into sure about reactions to my obsession with astral projection. Who knows? It matters not, because here you are free to read my brain wanderings, or move on to something that better suits you. Happy travels friend.

Busy Busy

Life has been out of control. Will post soon.
The end.

Fade To Black

He will die, Lynn. No amount of pushing it to the back of your head, or fixating on other things is going to change that fact. The when, the where, who knows. But the fact is, he will die, Lynn. You will have to go home. You will have to face your father. And you will have to face yourself. It isn't that I haven't forgiven him. It is that he thinks he has nothing to be sorry for. Can I get passed the horrible parts of the past, to remember the good. I could hear him moaning last night, when I was on the phone with mom. I've watched a lot of loved ones take their last breath. Up until now, they've been silent. This may not be the thing that kills him, but dear God, the sound. I want to forgive my brother for the things he's done. But I'm scared to death he hasn't changed his ways. Before I am his sister, I am Phoenix's mother. I have to think about him first. I have to know he's not tempted by the dragon again. I just wish there was some kind of sign saying, "IT"S SAFE". But that will never be, and my heart is all I have to go on. I love my brother, and for a long time, he was my closest confidant. I miss that brother, but I'm scared he's already dead; and this heroine monster is all that's left, feeding on my parents kindness and/or naivety? It's been a long time, brother. I hope not too long. Dear God, help us find the way before it's too late.

Anthony Robbins said...

"In life you need either inspiration or despair."


I am not sure anymore which I have more of.

Sigh.

So I'm retarded. Life has been odd, and I've been neglecting this blog. *sigh* Never fear though, I am working on a new format of posting topics by week day. This way, I think I will have an easier time figuring out what to post. As of right now, I get loads of ideas a day, but never in any workable order. So yeah, off to revamp, or whatever the kids are saying these days.

2009...yay and stuff.

Happy 2009 fuckers!!! I can say that, nobody reads this, save for my other personalities. And of course the BFF. I think maybe though, she is the only one able to read it, as I am not even totally sure that my other selves can read, let alone in English. Hey I know, let's veer off the original path...oh wait. So yeah, the 2009 plan for this particular blogging experiment, is...(drum roll please), to actually post regularly, and with some semblance of structure. (Not too much). A little less procrastination and a lot more confidence. I say this because I realized that a lot of what I wanted to say, I was keeping to myself as to not "rock the boat", so to speak. So yeah, this blog is my foray into random, I should take advantage of that... oh look a bunny.

Good question.

"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway throu my fish burger and I realize, Oh man, I could be eating and slow learner."

- Lyndon B. Johnson