Good and Bad

Sometimes I wonder if parents telling their children how great they are is a good thing. My mom always told me that there was nothing that I couldn't do. I always believed that. But here I am at 30 years old with absolutely nothing that indicates I am anything more than mediocre. After my illustrious career of straight A's and pot smoking in high school, I really haven't done much. College was no place for a 16 year old, and after I blew through 60K in scholarships for my first two years, I'd done nothing but become more confused. After a brief stint in corporate America, a few baaad relationships, a move to Washington, and one child later, I still feel completely stagnant. And if I needed any more proof that I am a loss, I can't even think of a decent blog post.

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Lego Time

FAIL

A long time it has been. A long time it might be, but I'll post regularly again. Getting caught up in life, and other people's lives has taken a toll on me. There's also the fact that I was supposed to get a laptop months ago, and instead I got another lemon for a vehicle. Grrr. Three weeks in California proved somewhat entertaining, but mostly full of heartache. Many realizations were made. The one thing regarding California I can say is this. If I go again it will not be without Mike, and I will ask one of my friends if I can crash at their house for my stay. Well, I guess there are a couple of things. I also would like to make my trip shorter, and with less parental hostage situations. All in all, I think I'll be steering clear for a while. Now I must get to planning on how to get my friends to come visit me here in Washington....

Stagnation

It seems like everything that I want to get out, is stuck in my head. The world is falling apart around me, and Mike's computer addiction is stronger than ever. It sounds so stupid saying that. But I really have no time to get on here and post. I wish I could upload to my blog straight from my brain when I am falling asleep. It is always in this time that my best thoughts come. At any rate, since I am still not sleeping, I think I might start blogging during the wee hours when my brain is teeming with thoughts and Mike is sound asleep...

Ahoy Matey!

Essay I

It's as if I just woke up from a dream. I watch my life as if it is a movie. Everything is so unreal sometimes. I wonder sometimes if anyone else has a constant narration in their head. As I walk along throughout my day, the jukebox in my skull automatically picking the perfect song. I laugh to myself as I carry along conversations with people while I am mentally weaving cartoon life all around them. The song instantly changing to set the mood. The narrator explains the situation concurrently to the nonexistent audience. And I am entertained.
Thus, my latest project. I don't know how to paint. Haven't really tried. But I am going to try and paint "still shots" from these encounters where the boredom makes pretty pictures to me.