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I seem to lack the impetus these days to do just about anything beyond robotics. I find myself going through the motions for the better part of the day. It seems the only time I am alive anymore is when in direct human contact with another. And even then I'm so old, I swear it takes the first five minutes of a conversation, in person or otherwise, to "warm up" so to speak.
I keep finding myself lost in retreat in the far recesses of my mind. It seems especially rampant when the boy genius is down for a nap. The stranger thing by far though, has to be that I can't seem to meditate to save my life. Whilst I keep locating myself in an incredibly lucid waking dream, or somewhere in the vast reaches of my imagination, I can't seem to, um, do it on purpose anymore, if that makes any kind of sense. I no longer possess the capability to clear my mind of my own volition, it seems. Rather, it clears itself whenever it feels it necessary I suppose. Probably another apparent point considering the haphazard manner in which I have let myself fall into posting.